Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
