plz talk dirty to me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Send help, water and tortillas.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
