I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
