we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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