Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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