I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
