dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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