Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
