Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
