you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
