I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
