He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
