Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
