Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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