You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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