The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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