The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
