Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
