I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
