dude i'm inner monologue high
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
