i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
