My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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