I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
