She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
