I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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