Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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