No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
