First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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