Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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