im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
