Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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