I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
