Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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