i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
