...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm jealous of your bromance
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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