i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
