Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
