homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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