With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize