just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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