ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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