Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
