I just made out with a guy for $7.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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