so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
