You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Someone signed my nipple.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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