No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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