i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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