if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
