He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
