we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
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