Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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