yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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