Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
