i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
