Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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