remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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