Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
