we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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