I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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