dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
