I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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